Aaron Cunningham, Fart Talker Allen
18” x 24”
Name: Fart Talker Allen
Date of Birth: 06/25/1983
Date of Death: 09/11/2001
Fart Talker Allen was a generous man who loved the whole world. He loved everything that was in the world. He had lots of money that he was always giving to charities. He knew that other people could use the money more than he did. Fart Talker Allen was born in Tetang, Rajasthan on June 25th, 1983 under the name Allen Veilward Airborn. When Allen was born he suffered a tragic event during birth: His mother farted a very big and smelly fart. It caused him to pass out and when Allen came to, he was able to talk to farts. So every time someone would fart around Allen, he could tell you what their farts were saying. The people of Tetang started calling him Fart Talker Allen and that’s how Fart Talker Allen got his name. Fart Talker Allen had this special gift that he could talk to farts. He could understand what other people’s farts meant.
Fart Talker Allen died in the World Trade Center’s collapse on September 11th, 2001. Witnesses said that they remember hearing a farting sound in the room before the planes hit the buildings. He warned everybody to get out of the building because the fart told him that planes were going to hit buildings. Everybody on the 32nd floor got out of the building, except Fart Talker Allen. He was on his way down the stairway, but was crushed to death when the upper floors came down on top of him. Fart Talker Allen was buried a hero in the Fallen Staff graveyard. Fart Talker Allen will be truly missed by the people of New York City. Fart Talker Allen’s parents received the Medal of Honor for their son and Fart Talker Allen’s day of his death was remembered by the people who survived that dreadful day of September 11th, 2001. They will remember their friend and hero, Fart Talker Allen, forever and ever and the day of his death will be celebrated for all eternity.
—Aaron Cunningham, 2012